Hot Takes

October is kind of a toss-up weather-wise. Some years it’s brisk—chilly even—making for fantastic trick-or-treat weather for everyone who didn’t dress as a sexy potato or whatever. Other years, it stays uncompromisingly hot, and pumpkin spice has to do a lot of heavy lifting to put anyone in an autumn mood.

As you already know, this October was the latter. Woulda been a crazy month to be without air conditioning, wouldn’t it? I mean, could you imagine?

Well now you don’t have to, because I’m here to confirm that it sucks pretty bad.

My system died three days before Ian hit, so I didn’t even bother trying to call anyone for the first week. Then came the schedule conflicts, the this-is-worse-than-you-thoughts, the SuPpLy ChAiN iSsUeS.

Maybe I’m a little salty. I blame the sweat that now coats my skin and clothing at all times.

But lo and behold, the worst is finally over. Installers from Cloud 9 AC are here setting up a new system (which apparently involves several loud power tools and the use of a blowtorch indoors). All this waiting gives me ample opportunity to reflect.

This issue’s all about gratitude, right? I’m grateful this is gonna be over, for starters. But even during these restless, sticky-hot nights, I can’t say it was all bad. There are things I wouldn’t have tried, things I wouldn’t have come to appreciate, if I was comfortable in my own home and capable of experiencing joy.

So, from those 23 nights of suffering, here are the good things I learned:

• Floor fans are badass. It has basically kept me alive. I should consider cleaning it.
  Related: if you spray water directly into the fan, it provides full-body cooling for exactly two minutes. They’re beautiful minutes.
• There is one room in your house that’s naturally cooler than the others. It is not a room you can sleep in.
• Cold showers are rad, actually. I’d never taken one before trying it out of desperation. The first one was amazing; the second one taught me there is a way to take cold showers wrong.
• It’s OK to need people. My friends and family let me stay with them for a little while, allowing my dog and me to be spared from the hottest nights.
• Hey, if you know your house has no way of cooling down? Don’t use the freaking oven. Idiot.

Addendum: This is post-install Rheya checking in. I can lower the temperature again. I might not be able to stop until icicles start forming. Now I can impart one last lesson: Gratitude is a dish best served cold.