Worst Impressions Redux
OK, here we go, wrapping up the anniversary issue. Right now. Right this second. Uh … man, a whole year. Isn’t that wacky?
Yeesh, this one’s kinda tough. Not that I don’t have anything to say about such a big milestone. It’s more a problem of what to say—the same problem I deal with every month. Is this story interesting? Is it funny? Am I appealing to the ~demographic~? Does my writing warrant a page in a local magazine? Does it deserve anything at all? What even is writing? Who am I? Why is everything spinning? God, no, not the spinning…
Anyway! It’s a lot of pressure, is what I’m getting at, to craft the right content for the occasion. Especially since I’m not, shall we say, the Winteriest of Gardeners.
For starters, I’m too poor for golf cart culture. Bike culture is out, too, since Mako won’t fit in a little picnic basket fastened to the seat like in The Wizard of Oz, which is obviously a dealbreaker. And while I’ve befriended a couple other younger folks, I’m nowhere near cool enough for the Axum crowd (see previous sentence).
Nevertheless, I’ve still found a place in this cozy town. Your camaraderie, your history, your stalwart refusal to learn how a four-way stop works; it all feels more and more like home.
And so I always try to do y’all justice by writing stuff that’s worth a moment of your eyeballs. Your time is precious, to you and to the gazillion content creators currently jockeying for one solitary second on the Hell Rectangle in your pocket (or in my case, the aesthetically superior rectangle that is print). It’s precious to me, too, and I’m pretty damn delighted if you’ve used any of your rectangle-seconds on whatever I’ve had to say this year.
Every now and then, someone reaches out because I wrote something that was worthwhile to them; they laughed out loud, or they related so hard, or they saw some topic in a new light.
I like to think I’m not in this for clout (although I did submit this column for an award (that it didn’t even place in (and I’m. Not. Salty. About. It.))). But the acknowledgment that even one person enjoyed their time with my page? That they’re looking forward to the next one? That makes me feel something between great pride and sheer terror.
Because now it’s time to do it all again.
